I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
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Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
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Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize