That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
