Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
are you so shy because you have an std?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
