May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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