I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
