Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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