were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
