You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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