And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
