Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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