Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
