you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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