i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
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i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize