Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
