Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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