When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm at about main and main street
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
