I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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