I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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