We're like a lot better than the average bears
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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