Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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