There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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