Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You can't just leave with hair like that
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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