Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
pop tarts are not kleenex
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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