if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
