My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
