I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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