someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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