cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
