Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
