i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
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It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
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She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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