2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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