i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
