dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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