I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize