yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This house was built for laser tag.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize