guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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