Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
