i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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