operation harelip BJ is a go
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
