So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
