Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
