oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
