I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
