im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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