Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
