I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize