tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
