No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
