Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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