we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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