By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
