I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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