it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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