did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
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He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
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Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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