Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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