so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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