cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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