Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
