You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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