My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
