but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
