So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
