someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I have already put on my inside pants.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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