If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
