A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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